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Headcanons
May. 30th, 2015 01:27 pmThese are subject to change.
- Loneliness
Since his mother died, Maeglin has been lonely. It's not that there are no people around him, that he thinks that everyone hates him or that nobody cares at all if he lives or dies. But he knows that he is nobody's most important person since Aredhel's death, and doubts that he even comes close to it with anyone. After a few years, he knows from experience that nobody will come after him if he vanishes from meetings or festivities or gets lost for days unless they want/need something from him. He knows that nobody will really try to look behind the façade that he puts up.
And based on that he doubts that anyone would truly miss him if he wasn't there anymore, as himself and not for the tasks that he does, the knowledge that he has or the things that he is capable of doing. Sure, there are some who have an obligation to care because of him being Aredhel's son, but (partly based in the negative feelings that he knows Idril has towards him) he doesn't think that that translates into caring about him as a person.
- Ambition
All of this obviously makes for an ugly mix with his ambitious nature - if people only care about him as long as he has something to offer them, he needs an influential position on top of knowledge and ability. He needs to find the best materials in the mountain, have the best craft, and so on. Not only because he genuinely likes crafts and finding precious materials, but also because that is the only way in which he will keep himself in a position where people care about him.
Eöl doesn't figure directly into the loneliness - he might have cared about Maeglin, in his own way, but Maeglin was also always very aware of him being considered property and of Eöl hurting his mother, and he didn't like that to the point where he didn't care about his father's attention. But that in turn is something that he got from Eöl and that ties into the ambition - that he doesn't want to be anyone's subject. And there are two methods towards that - run away and be your own little lord, or rise to the top in the society that you exist in. The issue with the first method is not only that it is what his father chose, but more importantly that it isn't one that works with the wonders of the idealized Noldorin culture that his mother taught him about - building cities and creating things that require significant cultural exploits can't be done in the first setting (and mining works a lot better in such a context too).
- Respect
All of that doesn't mean that he can't respect authority or love other people. He feels both for Turgon and the latter for Idril. It doesn't mean that he can't feel responsibility and genuinely wish the best for people. He just doubts that much of this would be returned if he doesn't work to earn it.
- Loneliness
Since his mother died, Maeglin has been lonely. It's not that there are no people around him, that he thinks that everyone hates him or that nobody cares at all if he lives or dies. But he knows that he is nobody's most important person since Aredhel's death, and doubts that he even comes close to it with anyone. After a few years, he knows from experience that nobody will come after him if he vanishes from meetings or festivities or gets lost for days unless they want/need something from him. He knows that nobody will really try to look behind the façade that he puts up.
And based on that he doubts that anyone would truly miss him if he wasn't there anymore, as himself and not for the tasks that he does, the knowledge that he has or the things that he is capable of doing. Sure, there are some who have an obligation to care because of him being Aredhel's son, but (partly based in the negative feelings that he knows Idril has towards him) he doesn't think that that translates into caring about him as a person.
- Ambition
All of this obviously makes for an ugly mix with his ambitious nature - if people only care about him as long as he has something to offer them, he needs an influential position on top of knowledge and ability. He needs to find the best materials in the mountain, have the best craft, and so on. Not only because he genuinely likes crafts and finding precious materials, but also because that is the only way in which he will keep himself in a position where people care about him.
Eöl doesn't figure directly into the loneliness - he might have cared about Maeglin, in his own way, but Maeglin was also always very aware of him being considered property and of Eöl hurting his mother, and he didn't like that to the point where he didn't care about his father's attention. But that in turn is something that he got from Eöl and that ties into the ambition - that he doesn't want to be anyone's subject. And there are two methods towards that - run away and be your own little lord, or rise to the top in the society that you exist in. The issue with the first method is not only that it is what his father chose, but more importantly that it isn't one that works with the wonders of the idealized Noldorin culture that his mother taught him about - building cities and creating things that require significant cultural exploits can't be done in the first setting (and mining works a lot better in such a context too).
- Respect
All of that doesn't mean that he can't respect authority or love other people. He feels both for Turgon and the latter for Idril. It doesn't mean that he can't feel responsibility and genuinely wish the best for people. He just doubts that much of this would be returned if he doesn't work to earn it.
